my brother

cousin: So, Dan. You're still with that girl?

brother: No, she dumped me. Thanks for bringing it up.

mom: But you're still on good terms, aren't you? I thought the two of you were friends now. Didn't you go rock climbing with her last weekend?

brother: Well she's not having sex with me.

mom: I beg your pardon?

brother: You heard me.

mom: [shocked expression]

brother: Well that's the crux of the problem. Just being honest here.