Sunday, November 30, 2014

Roadtrip Highlights

The road trip was awesome. We drove all day Friday and Saturday, stopping for the night in Portland, where we patronized a few establishments. The last stop of the evening was a Mexican restaurant, where I ordered and finished a quesadilla, which I did not remember the next morning. My friend accused me of being "blackout full" on Mexican food.

What I do remember, is waking up at 4:00am with a full bladder, in a van in Portland. I crawled off out of bed and successfully "drained the euphemism" into a plastic grocery bag without getting any urine on myself. I knotted the bag and put it in the bag of garbage hanging off the back of the seats.

The next morning, after gloating (possibly excessively) about my achievement to my travel companion, we parked the van to pick up some stuff and I noticed a bus stop with a garbage can. I grabbed our garbage bag and ran up to the garbage can, but it had only a small hole in the side rather than an open top. I started shoving my bag in, pushing and wedging it an inch at a time. A paper coffee cup fell out, then a banana peel. I kept shoving, until the force was enough to get the garbage through and simultaneously burst the bag of urine inside, emptying the contents onto myself.