food critique

Dan: I used to reward myself with food, but I had to stop because it was getting out of hand. I was up to five lunches in a day.

me: how do you even fit that much food in yourself? They had to be small lunches. What constitutes a lunch?

Dan: a pie.

me: a PIE counts as lunch? And you eat multiple lunches!?

Dan: I wont take criticism from someone who eats a plate of tacos in the bathtub!

me: hey! That was... different. It was, like, ten years ago.