where I get it from

As usual, conversations with my mother are an excellent source of blog fodder.

mom: ...so James loaned me his paintball gun. That's not illegal, is it? Shooting people who come onto my lawn?

me: if they're gonna start cracking down on that activity in your neighbourhood, I doubt they'll start with you. Why don't you just set up a trip wire?

mom: we didn't have the stuff to make one.

...

mom: when I visited your little cousins in Toronto, I told them about the time I took them to the circus.

me: you never took them to the circus.

mom: I know. I'm trying to implant false memories.

highlights from last week

in point form!

-I noticed that a new liquor store is being built just a few blocks from my house. Last month, shortly after I moved here, they tore down the only liquor store within walking distance of my house. When I saw the newer, closer BCL with the 'Opening Soon' banner across the front window, I was so happy I threw away my flask of Robitussin.

-My brother was in town, for about six hours. Just long enough to get dinner and take in a Mad Caddies concert with Damien.

-I finally saw the Mad Caddies. Daniel and I bought t-shirts and danced up a storm, and even though I didn't "Bone a Caddy" as I had hoped, I was close enough to the stage to almost get hit in the head with a trombone. So I was nearly 'boned by a Caddy.

-my old roommate dropped by and we watched most of the third season of 30 Rock.

-I skipped class the next day to finish watching 30 Rock.

This has been extremely useful in justifying my 33% score on a pipelining quiz. Let's see that again, in slow mo.

a workplace conversation

co-worker: what's that disease called, everyone who has it looks kind of the same. They all have red hair and gangly limbs...

me: being Irish isn't a disease.

co-worker: no no, it's this disease, I knew a guy who had it, and he was really short.

me: a leprechaun? That's not a disease either.